Self-Regulation in the Early Years: A Comprehensive Guide
Self-regulation is an essential skill for child development, forming a cornerstone of early learning and social-emotional growth. It’s a complex ability that has emotional, cognitive, and behavioural components, all working together to help children manage their feelings, thoughts, and actions.
In practical terms, self-regulation is used for managing emotions and behaviour, allowing children to navigate social situations, cope with challenges, and engage effectively in learning. It’s not an innate talent, but a skill created by consistent nurturing and support from caring adults.
To flourish, self-regulation requires a supportive environment. As early years practitioners, we play a crucial role in fostering this skill. By understanding what self-regulation is and how to support it, we can significantly impact children’s development.
The effects of well-developed self-regulation are far-reaching. It leads to better academic performance, as children can focus, follow instructions, and persist with tasks. Moreover, it causes improved social interactions, helping children form positive relationships with peers and adults alike.
In this comprehensive guide, we’ll explore practical strategies to support self-regulation in early years settings. We’ll delve into the science behind self-regulation, discuss common challenges, and offer tried-and-tested techniques to help children develop this vital skill.
Whether you’re new to the concept or looking to enhance your existing practice, this article aims to equip you with the knowledge and tools to nurture self-regulation skills in the children under your care. Let’s embark on this journey to create more emotionally resilient, socially adept, and academically prepared young learners.
Get Our In-Depth Online Course on Self-Regulation Skills in Young Children with Sue Asquith
Gain essential insights into nurturing emotional resilience in young children. This course, led by Sue Asquith (author of Self-Regulation Skills in Young Children: Activities and Strategies for Practitioners and Parents), offers a comprehensive exploration of self-regulation.
You’ll develop a deeper understanding of children’s brain development and acquire practical strategies to support their emotional growth.
What is Self-Regulation?
Self-regulation is all about managing emotions, thoughts, and behaviours. It’s the ability to:
- Control impulses (like not grabbing a toy from another child)
- Maintain focus (like listening to a story without getting distracted)
- Adapt to different social situations (like using an ‘indoor voice’ in the reading corner)
Think of self-regulation as a child’s internal ‘traffic light system’. When it’s working well, they can stop (red), think (amber), and go (green) in response to different situations.
Practical Tip: Create a visual ‘traffic light’ system in your setting. Use it to help children understand and talk about their emotions and behaviours.
Self-regulation develops over time. A baby might cry when they’re hungry or tired, but by the time they’re in Reception, we hope they can express their needs verbally and manage their emotions better.
Remember, every child is unique. Some might find self-regulation easier than others, and that’s okay. Our job is to support each child where they are.
Why is Self-Regulation So Important?
Self-regulation is like a superpower for young children. It helps them:
- Get ready for school
- Make and keep friends
- Learn new things
- Cope with big feelings
Research shows that children with good self-regulation skills tend to do better academically and socially as they grow up. They’re often more resilient too, bouncing back from setbacks more easily.
Practical Tip: Celebrate small wins in self-regulation. When a child waits their turn or calms themselves down, acknowledge it. “I saw you take a deep breath when you felt frustrated. That was great self-regulation!”
The Brain and Self-Regulation
Understanding a bit about the brain can help us support children’s self-regulation. Here’s the simple version:
- The ‘thinking’ part of the brain (prefrontal cortex) helps with planning and control
- The ‘feeling’ part (limbic system) processes emotions
These parts need to work together for good self-regulation. But here’s the catch – the ‘thinking’ part isn’t fully developed in young children. It’s like having a car with an oversensitive accelerator and underdeveloped brakes!
Stress can make self-regulation even harder. When children feel stressed, their ‘thinking’ brain goes offline, and the ‘feeling’ brain takes over. That’s why we often see meltdowns or tantrums when children are overwhelmed.
Practical Tip: Create a ‘calm down corner’ in your setting. Include soft cushions, squeeze balls, and picture books about emotions. Teach children to use this space when they feel overwhelmed.
Helping Children Develop Self-Regulation
Remember, self-regulation is a skill that can be learned and improved. Here are some ways we can help:
- Model good self-regulation: Children learn by watching us. Talk through your own self-regulation out loud. “I’m feeling frustrated, so I’m going to take three deep breaths to calm down.”
- Create a predictable environment: Use visual timetables and give warnings before transitions. This helps children feel secure and reduces stress.
- Teach emotional vocabulary: Help children name their feelings. Use books, songs, and games to explore different emotions.
- Provide sensory experiences: Some children regulate better with movement or tactile input. Offer playdough, water play, or dance breaks throughout the day.
- Play games that promote self-regulation: Simon Says, Musical Statues, and Red Light/Green Light are all fun ways to practice impulse control.
Remember, supporting self-regulation isn’t about eliminating all negative emotions. It’s about helping children understand and manage their feelings in healthy ways.
As we move forward, we’ll explore more specific strategies and dive deeper into how we can create environments that support self-regulation. But for now, start observing the children in your care. How do they handle big emotions? What seems to help them stay calm and focused? Your observations will be the foundation for supporting each child’s unique self-regulation journey.
The Foundations of Self-Regulation
As early years practitioners, we’re laying the groundwork for children’s lifelong skills. When it comes to self-regulation, there are several key areas we need to focus on. Let’s explore these foundations and how we can support them in our settings.
Understanding Different Types of Stress
Not all stress is bad! There are actually three types of stress:
- Positive stress: Short-lived, like the excitement of starting nursery.
- Tolerable stress: More serious but buffered by supportive relationships.
- Toxic stress: Prolonged, unbuffered stress that can impact brain development.
Our goal is to help children manage positive stress, buffer against tolerable stress, and prevent toxic stress.
Environment Check: Look around your setting. Are there areas that might be causing unnecessary stress? Could you create more ‘stress-free’ zones?
Remember, play is a child’s work, and it’s a brilliant way to develop self-regulation skills.
Sensory Processing and Self-Regulation
Every child has unique sensory needs. Some might seek out sensory input, while others might be easily overwhelmed.
Understanding each child’s sensory profile can be a game-changer for supporting self-regulation.
Quick Win: Create a ‘sensory toolkit’ with items like stress balls, textured toys, and calming scents. Let children choose what helps them feel regulated.
Attachment and Relationships
Secure attachments are like a child’s emotional safety net. When children feel secure, they’re more likely to explore, take risks, and develop self-regulation skills.
Practical Tip: Create a ‘welcome ritual’ for each child as they arrive. It could be a special handshake, a high-five, or simply getting down to their level for a warm greeting. This helps children feel seen and valued from the moment they enter your setting.
Responsive caregiving is crucial. This means tuning into children’s needs and responding appropriately. It’s not about getting it right every time, but about trying to understand and meet their needs consistently.
In Practice: When a child is upset, avoid rushing to distract them. Instead, acknowledge their feelings: “I can see you’re feeling sad. It’s okay to feel sad sometimes. Would you like a hug, or would you prefer some quiet time?”
Building positive relationships extends to families too. When children see warm interactions between practitioners and their parents, it reinforces their sense of security.
Try This: Set up a ‘family photo wall’ in your setting. Invite children to bring in photos of their family to display. This creates a bridge between home and the setting, promoting a sense of belonging.
Emotional Literacy
Emotional literacy is about understanding and expressing emotions. It’s a crucial part of self-regulation.
Start by helping children name their emotions. Use a wide range of emotional vocabulary – we feel more than just ‘happy’ or ‘sad’!
Activity Idea: Create an ’emotion wheel’ with different faces expressing various emotions. Use it during circle time to help children identify how they’re feeling.
Remember, it’s not just about recognising emotions, but understanding them too. Help children make connections between their feelings, thoughts, and actions.
Storytelling Tip: Use puppets or soft toys to act out scenarios involving different emotions. This can help children explore emotions in a non-threatening way.
Sensory Processing
Every child has unique sensory needs. Some might seek out sensory input, while others might be overwhelmed by certain sensations.
Observation Exercise: Spend a week noting down children’s reactions to different sensory experiences. Does anyone cover their ears during noisy activities? Does someone always gravitate towards the sensory bin?
Creating a ‘sensory-smart’ environment can make a big difference. Think about lighting, noise levels, and tactile experiences in your setting.
Quick Wins:
- Provide noise-cancelling headphones for children who are sensitive to sound.
- Create a cosy corner with soft textures for children who need a quiet space.
- Offer ‘fidget toys’ for children who need extra tactile input to focus.
Executive Function Skills
Executive function skills are like the air traffic control system of the brain. They help children plan, focus attention, switch gears, and juggle multiple tasks.
These skills develop rapidly in the early years, but they need our support.
Game Idea: Play ‘Freeze Dance’. This game promotes inhibitory control (stopping when the music stops) and working memory (remembering the rules).
Remember, children develop these skills at different rates. Some might need extra support.
Scaffolding Strategy: Break tasks into smaller steps. Use visual cues to help children remember the sequence. For example, a picture chart showing the steps for handwashing.
The Power of Play
Play is a child’s work, and it’s crucial for developing self-regulation.
Pretend play is particularly powerful. When children take on different roles, they’re practicing emotional regulation and perspective-taking.
Set the Stage: Create inviting play scenarios. A ‘doctor’s surgery’ with dolls as patients can encourage children to practice gentle hands and empathy.
Physical play is great for sensory regulation. It helps children understand their bodies and burn off excess energy.
Outdoor Idea: Set up an obstacle course. This promotes body awareness, planning, and following directions – all important for self-regulation.
Remember, our role is to facilitate, not dominate play. Observe carefully and join in when invited, but allow children to lead their play experiences.
Games for Self-Regulation
Play is a child’s work, and it’s a brilliant way to develop self-regulation skills. Here are a few favourites:
- Simon Says: Great for practising impulse control.
- Musical Statues: Helps with body regulation and following instructions.
- Turtle Technique: Teach children to ‘go into their shell’ (hug themselves) when they need to calm down.
- Game Time: Introduce one new self-regulation game each week. Make it fun and celebrate everyone’s efforts!
Reflection Point: At the end of each day, think about the play you observed. What self-regulation skills were children practicing? How could you extend this tomorrow?
As we support these foundations of self-regulation, we’re giving children the tools they need to navigate their world successfully. It’s not about perfection – it’s about progress. Celebrate the small wins, be patient with the challenges, and remember that every interaction is an opportunity to support a child’s developing self-regulation skills.
In our next section, we’ll look at how to identify when children are struggling with self-regulation and explore some targeted strategies to support them. But for now, why not choose one area from this section to focus on in your setting this week? Small, consistent changes can make a big difference in supporting children’s self-regulation journey.
Identifying Self-Regulation Challenges
As early years practitioners, we’re often the first to spot when children are struggling with self-regulation. It’s like being a detective – we need to look for clues and piece together the puzzle. Let’s explore how we can do this effectively.
Understanding Dysregulation
Dysregulation is when a child’s emotional ‘thermostat’ goes haywire. It’s not just about bad behaviour – it’s a sign that a child is overwhelmed and needs our help.
Practical Tip: Create a visual ’emotions thermometer’ in your setting. Use it to help children express how ‘hot’ or ‘cool’ they’re feeling emotionally.
Remember, there’s a difference between a tantrum and a meltdown. A tantrum is often an attempt to get something, while a meltdown is a response to being overwhelmed.
In Practice: When faced with a dysregulated child, stay calm. Your calm can be contagious. Use a soft, reassuring voice and simple language: “I can see you’re having a hard time. I’m here to help.”
Signs of Self-Regulation Difficulties
We need to be on the lookout for various signs:
- Behavioural: This might include difficulty waiting for a turn, frequent aggression, or becoming withdrawn.
- Emotional: Watch for big emotional reactions that seem out of proportion or take a long time to calm down from.
- Physical: Changes in energy levels, sleep patterns, or eating habits can all be clues.
- Cognitive: Trouble focusing, following instructions, or problem-solving might indicate self-regulation challenges.
Observation Exercise: For a week, jot down instances where children seem to struggle with regulation. Look for patterns – are there particular times of day or activities where difficulties arise?
Common Triggers for Dysregulation
Understanding triggers can help us prevent dysregulation before it starts. Common triggers include:
- Sensory overload (too much noise, bright lights, etc.)
- Changes in routine
- Transitions between activities
- Hunger or tiredness
Environmental Audit: Take a walk through your setting, trying to experience it from a child’s perspective. Are there areas that might be overwhelming? Could you create more calm spaces?
Remember, every child is unique. What triggers one child might not affect another.
Try This: Create ‘sensory profiles’ for each child. Note down what sensory experiences they seek out or avoid. This can help you tailor your environment and activities.
Observation and Assessment Tools
Good observation is key to understanding self-regulation challenges. Here are some tools you might find useful:
- ABC Charts: These help you record the Antecedent (what happened before), Behaviour (what the child did), and Consequence (what happened after). Quick Guide:
A – Jamie asked to play with the train
B – Zoe grabbed the train and shouted “No!”
C – Jamie cried and walked away - Leuven Scales: These measure children’s well-being and involvement, which can give clues about their self-regulation. Tip: Use a simple 1-5 scale. 1 might be a child who seems very distressed and uninvolved, while 5 would be a child who’s deeply engaged and clearly enjoying themselves.
Collaborating with Families
Families are our partners in supporting children’s self-regulation. They often have valuable insights we might miss.
Communication Idea: Create a simple ‘day in the life’ form for parents to fill out. Ask about their child’s routines, preferences, and any strategies that work well at home.
When sharing observations with parents, always start with positives. Frame challenges as opportunities for growth.
Conversation Starter: “I’ve noticed that Sam has a wonderful imagination during pretend play. I’ve also seen that he sometimes finds it tricky to share toys. Have you noticed this at home? What strategies have you found helpful?”
When to Seek Additional Support
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we might need to bring in additional support. This isn’t a failure – it’s about getting children the best help possible.
Red Flags to watch for:
- Persistent difficulties that don’t improve with your usual strategies
- Behaviour that significantly impacts the child’s ability to learn or make friends
- Any sudden changes in behaviour or development
If you’re concerned, don’t wait. Speak to your SENCO or manager about next steps.
Remember: Early intervention can make a big difference. Trust your instincts – you know these children well.
As we wrap up this section, take a moment to reflect. Think about a child in your setting who might be struggling with self-regulation. What signs have you noticed? What might be triggering their difficulties? And most importantly, what’s one small step you could take tomorrow to support them?
In our next section, we’ll dive into practical strategies for supporting self-regulation. But for now, remember – identifying challenges is the first step towards helping children develop these crucial skills. Your careful observations and thoughtful responses are making a real difference in children’s lives.
Get Our In-Depth Online Course on Self-Regulation Skills in Young Children with Sue Asquith
Gain essential insights into nurturing emotional resilience in young children. This course, led by Sue Asquith (author of Self-Regulation Skills in Young Children: Activities and Strategies for Practitioners and Parents), offers a comprehensive exploration of self-regulation.
You’ll develop a deeper understanding of children’s brain development and acquire practical strategies to support their emotional growth.
Practical Strategies for Supporting Self-Regulation
Now that we’ve explored what self-regulation looks like and how to spot challenges, let’s roll up our sleeves and dive into some practical strategies. Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach, but these ideas should give you a great starting point.
Understanding the Brain and Self-Regulation
When we talk about self-regulation, it’s helpful to think of the brain in three parts: the brain stem, the limbic system, and the prefrontal cortex. I like to think of it as a ‘triune brain’ – it sounds fancy, but it’s just a simple way to understand how our brains work!
The brain stem is our ‘survival brain’. It’s in charge of basic functions like breathing and heart rate. The limbic system is our ’emotional brain’, processing feelings and memories. The prefrontal cortex is our ‘thinking brain’, responsible for planning and decision-making.
Here’s the catch – in young children, the prefrontal cortex is still developing. It’s like having a car with an oversensitive accelerator (the emotional brain) and underdeveloped brakes (the thinking brain)!
Practical Tip: When a child is having a meltdown, remember their ‘thinking brain’ has gone offline. Focus on helping them feel safe and calm before trying to reason with them.
Creating a Supportive Environment
Our environment speaks volumes to children. A well-designed space can be a powerful tool in supporting self-regulation.
Calm Zones: Create a cosy corner where children can go to calm down. Stock it with soft cushions, stress balls, and maybe a few books about feelings.
Practical Tip: Use a pop-up tent or a canopy made from a bed sheet to create an instant ‘calm cave’. Add fairy lights for a soothing glow.
Visual supports can be game-changers. They help children understand expectations and routines, reducing anxiety and promoting independence.
Try This: Create a visual timetable using photos or simple drawings. Review it with the children each morning. This predictability can be very reassuring.
Don’t forget about sensory considerations. Some children might be oversensitive to noise, light, or touch.
Quick Win: Provide noise-cancelling headphones or earmuffs for children who find noisy activities overwhelming.
Teaching Self-Regulation Skills
Teaching self-regulation is like teaching any other skill – it takes practice, patience, and lots of repetition.
Breathing Exercises: Teach children to take deep breaths when they’re feeling overwhelmed. Make it fun – have them pretend to blow out birthday candles or smell a flower.
In Practice: Introduce a ‘Calm Down Toolkit’. Fill a box with items like bubbles (great for encouraging deep breaths), a small bottle of glitter glue (a homemade glitter jar), and pictures of different calming strategies.
Cognitive strategies are important too. Help children develop positive self-talk and problem-solving skills.
Activity Idea: Create a ‘Problem-Solving Wheel’. Draw a circle and divide it into sections, each with a different strategy (e.g., “Ask for help”, “Take a deep breath”, “Try again”). Children can spin the wheel when they encounter a problem.
Using Play to Develop Self-Regulation
Play is a child’s work, and it’s a brilliant way to develop self-regulation skills.
Game Suggestion: “Red Light, Green Light” is fantastic for practicing impulse control. Start with just two colours, then add “Yellow Light” (walk slowly) to make it more challenging.
Pretend play offers rich opportunities for emotional regulation practice.
Set the Stage: Create a ‘feelings hospital’ where teddies and dolls come with different emotions. Encourage children to be the doctors, helping their patients feel better.
Don’t forget the power of outdoor play!
Outdoor Idea: Set up an obstacle course. Not only does this help with physical regulation, but following a sequence of actions supports cognitive regulation too.
Supporting Transitions
Transitions can be tricky for many children. A little preparation can go a long way.
Visual Countdown: Use a sand timer or a visual countdown app to show how much time is left before a transition.
Transition Tip: Create a special song or rhyme that signals tidy-up time. This auditory cue can help children mentally prepare for the change.
Individualised Support Strategies
Every child is unique, and sometimes we need to tailor our approach.
Personalised Plans: For children who struggle more with self-regulation, create an individual plan. Include their specific triggers, preferred calming strategies, and self-regulation goals.
Try This: Work with the child to create a ‘How I Feel’ book. Include photos of the child demonstrating different emotions and list strategies that help them calm down.
Promoting a Culture of Self-Regulation
Self-regulation should be woven into the fabric of your setting.
Model It: Narrate your own self-regulation out loud. “I’m feeling a bit frustrated because I can’t open this jar. I’m going to take a deep breath and try again.”
Encourage peer support too. Children often learn best from each other.
Buddy System: Pair up children for tricky transitions. They can remind each other of the steps and offer encouragement.
Lastly, celebrate self-regulation successes!
Quality Time vs Quantity Time
We often hear about the importance of ‘quality time’, but ‘quantity time’ can be just as valuable for supporting self-regulation.
Quantity time is about being present and available, even when you’re doing everyday tasks. It gives children opportunities to talk, ask questions, and process their experiences.
Try This: During routine activities like tidying up, make yourself available for conversation. You might be surprised at what children share when the pressure of ‘quality time’ is off!
Celebration Idea: Create a ‘Self-Regulation Superstar’ board. When you notice a child using a self-regulation strategy, take a photo (with permission) and add it to the board.
Remember, supporting self-regulation is a journey, not a destination. There will be bumps along the way, and that’s okay. What matters is that we’re consistently providing children with the tools and support they need.
As you implement these strategies, keep observing and reflecting. What’s working well? What might need tweaking? And most importantly, how are the children responding?
In our final section, we’ll look at how to work with families to support self-regulation and how to know when it’s time to seek additional help. But for now, why not choose one strategy from this section to try tomorrow? Small, consistent changes can make a big difference in supporting children’s self-regulation journey.
Working with Families and Ongoing Support
We’ve explored what self-regulation looks like and how to support it in our settings. Now, let’s talk about extending that support beyond our four walls. After all, children don’t leave their self-regulation skills at the nursery door!
Partnering with Families
Families are our most valuable allies in supporting children’s self-regulation. They know their children best and can offer insights we might miss.
Communication Tip: Create a simple ‘Today I…’ sheet. Jot down one self-regulation win for each child daily. It might be “Today I took three deep breaths when I felt angry” or “Today I waited for my turn on the slide”.
Remember, some families might not be familiar with the concept of self-regulation.
Try This: Host a ‘Self-Regulation and Snacks’ evening. Keep it informal – share some simple strategies over a cuppa and biscuits. You could even make it a ‘stay and play’ session where parents can see self-regulation strategies in action.
Consistency Between Home and Setting
Consistency is key when it comes to self-regulation. We want children to have a ‘toolkit’ they can use anywhere.
Practical Idea: Create a ‘Self-Regulation Passport’. Include the child’s favourite calming strategies, what helps them when they’re upset, and any specific words or phrases you use. Share this with families and encourage them to add their own insights.
Sometimes, approaches at home might differ from those in the setting. That’s okay! The key is finding common ground.
Conversation Starter: “We’ve noticed that counting to 10 really helps Mia calm down when she’s frustrated. Have you found any strategies that work well at home?”
Identifying When Additional Support is Needed
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we might need to bring in extra help. This isn’t a failure – it’s about getting children the best support possible.
Red Flags to watch for:
- Persistent difficulties that don’t improve with consistent strategies
- Behaviour that significantly impacts the child’s ability to learn or make friends
- Any sudden changes in behaviour or development
If you’re concerned, don’t wait. Speak to your SENCO or manager about next steps.
Meltdowns vs Tantrums: Spotting the Difference
Speaking of meltdowns, it’s crucial to distinguish between a meltdown and a tantrum. They might look similar, but they need different responses from us.
- A tantrum is often an attempt to get something. It’s a form of communication.
- A meltdown is a response to feeling overwhelmed. It’s not about trying to get something, but about losing control.
Try This: Create a simple chart for your team, listing the characteristics of tantrums and meltdowns. This can help everyone respond appropriately in the moment.
Remember: Early intervention can make a big difference. Trust your instincts – you know these children well.
The Iceberg Theory of Behaviour
When we see challenging behaviour, it’s easy to focus on what we can see. But behaviour is like an iceberg – there’s a lot more going on beneath the surface.
What we see might be aggression or withdrawal, but underneath could be hunger, tiredness, anxiety, or sensory overload.
Observation Exercise: Next time you see challenging behaviour, play detective. What might be going on beneath the surface? Keep a note of your observations over a week and look for patterns.
Working with Other Professionals
When other professionals get involved, it’s an opportunity to learn and expand our support.
Practical Tip: After any external assessment or visit, have a quick team meeting. Discuss how you can implement any new strategies into your daily routines.
Continuing professional development is crucial. Self-regulation is a hot topic in early years, and new research is coming out all the time.
CPD Idea: Start a ‘Learning Library’. Encourage staff to share articles, videos, or podcasts they’ve found helpful. Discuss one resource in each team meeting.
Transition Support
Big transitions, like moving to school, can be a real test of self-regulation skills.
Transition Tool: Create a ‘My New School’ book with each child. Include photos of their new school, teachers, and any friends who might be going too. Practice self-regulation strategies they can use when feeling nervous.
Don’t forget to follow up after transitions.
Keep in Touch: Send a quick email to the child’s new teacher a few weeks into term. Share what self-regulation strategies worked well in your setting.
Reflective Practice and Continuous Improvement
Reflection is a powerful tool for improving our practice.
Team Reflection: At the end of each week, ask your team two questions: “What self-regulation win did we see this week?” and “What could we try differently next week?”
Tracking progress helps us see the impact of our work.
Progress Tracker: Use a simple spreadsheet to note each child’s self-regulation goals and progress. This can be incredibly motivating for staff and useful for planning next steps.
Finally, don’t forget to celebrate successes – both the children’s and your team’s!
Celebration Idea: Have a ‘Self-Regulation Star’ of the week. This could be a child who’s made progress, or a staff member who’s gone above and beyond in supporting self-regulation.
Remember, supporting self-regulation is a journey, not a destination. There will be ups and downs, and that’s okay. What matters is that we’re consistently providing children and families with the tools and support they need.
As we wrap up, take a moment to reflect on your own self-regulation journey. How has your understanding grown? What new strategies are you excited to try? And most importantly, how will you take care of your own self-regulation as you support the children in your care?
Supporting self-regulation can be challenging, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. You’re helping children develop skills that will serve them for a lifetime. So keep going, keep learning, and keep celebrating every small step forward. You’re making a real difference in children’s lives, and that’s something to be truly proud of.
Frequently Asked Questions
How Can I Help a Child Who Seems to Have No Self-Regulation Skills at All?
Question: I have a child in my setting who seems to have no ability to self-regulate. They’re constantly disruptive and struggle with even basic turn-taking. Where do I start?
Answer: Start with the basics and remember that self-regulation is a skill that needs to be taught and practised:
- Create a predictable environment with clear routines and expectations.
- Use visual supports like timetables and emotion charts to help the child understand and communicate their feelings.
- Teach simple calming strategies, such as deep breathing or counting to five.
- Offer frequent praise for even small instances of self-control.
- Work closely with the child’s family to ensure consistency between home and your setting.
Remember, progress may be slow, but every small step is a victory. If concerns persist, consider seeking additional support from your Special Educational Needs Coordinator (SENCO) or local early years advisory team.
What’s the Difference Between Self-Regulation and Self-Control?
Question: I often hear the terms self-regulation and self-control used interchangeably. Are they the same thing?
Answer: While related, self-regulation and self-control are distinct concepts:
- Self-regulation is a broader term that encompasses the ability to manage one’s emotions, behaviour, and attention in response to different situations. It includes recognising and understanding emotions, as well as employing strategies to manage them.
- Self-control is a component of self-regulation. It specifically refers to the ability to resist impulses or delay gratification in pursuit of longer-term goals.
In practice, supporting self-regulation in early years settings involves teaching children to recognise and manage their emotions (self-regulation), which can then lead to improved ability to control their actions (self-control). Both are crucial for meeting the Early Learning Goals, particularly in the area of Personal, Social and Emotional Development.
How Can I Support Self-Regulation in Children with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND)?
Question: I work with several children with SEND. How can I adapt self-regulation strategies to meet their needs?
Answer: Supporting self-regulation in children with SEND may require some adjustments
- Individualise approaches: What works for one child may not work for another. Observe closely and adapt strategies accordingly.
- Use visual supports: Many children with SEND benefit from visual aids like emotion cards or visual timetables.
- Provide sensory options: Offer a range of sensory tools (e.g., fidget toys, weighted blankets) to help with regulation.
- Break skills down: Teach self-regulation in small, manageable steps.
- Consistency is key: Work closely with families and other professionals to ensure a consistent approach.
- Consider specific needs: For example, children with autism may need extra support in recognising and naming emotions.
Remember, progress may be slower, but it’s still possible. Celebrate small achievements and keep expectations realistic but positive. Always consult with the child’s family and any involved specialists to ensure your approach aligns with their overall support plan.
Can Too Much Focus on Self-Regulation Stifle a Child’s Natural Exuberance?
Question: I’m worried that if we focus too much on self-regulation, we might dampen children’s natural enthusiasm and energy. How can we strike a balance?
Answer: This is a valid concern, but it’s important to understand that self-regulation isn’t about suppressing emotions or energy:
- Self-regulation is about helping children understand and manage their emotions and behaviour, not about stifling them.
- The goal is to give children tools to express themselves appropriately, not to stop them from expressing themselves at all.
- Well-regulated children are often more confident in expressing themselves because they feel in control.
To strike a balance:
- Provide plenty of opportunities for active, exuberant play.
- Teach children that different behaviours are appropriate in different contexts.
- Model enthusiasm yourself, while also demonstrating how to regulate it when necessary.
- Praise children for both their exciting ideas and their ability to calm down when needed.
Remember, the Early Learning Goals emphasise the importance of children being able to work and play cooperatively and show sensitivity to others’ needs. Good self-regulation supports these goals without dampening a child’s spirit.
How Can I Help Children Regulate Their Emotions During Conflicts with Peers?
- Stay calm yourself: Model the behaviour you want to see.
- Acknowledge feelings: “I can see you’re feeling angry because Sam took your toy.”
- Teach problem-solving steps:
- Stop and take a deep breath
- Use words to express feelings
- Think of possible solutions
- Choose a solution together
- Use role-play: Practice conflict scenarios during circle time when emotions aren’t running high.
- Create a ‘peace corner’ where children can go to calm down and work out conflicts.
- Use stories about conflict resolution to reinforce these skills.
Remember, the goal isn’t to eliminate conflicts (which are a normal part of development), but to help children learn to handle them constructively. This directly supports the Early Learning Goal of “Self-Regulation”, which expects children to “Show an understanding of their own feelings and those of others, and begin to regulate their behaviour accordingly” (Department for Education, 2021).
References
- Department for Education. (2021). Statutory framework for the early years foundation stage. https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/early-years-foundation-stage-framework–2
Further Reading and Research
Recommended Articles
- Florez, I. R. (2011). Developing young children’s self-regulation through everyday experiences. Young Children, 66(4), 46-51. https://www.naeyc.org/resources/pubs/yc/jul2011/development-self-regulation
- Blair, C., & Diamond, A. (2008). Biological processes in prevention and intervention: The promotion of self-regulation as a means of preventing school failure. Development and Psychopathology, 20(3), 899-911. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2593474/
- Shanker, S. (2012). Calm, alert and learning: Classroom strategies for self-regulation. Education Canada, 52(2). https://www.edcan.ca/articles/calm-alert-and-learning-classroom-strategies-for-self-regulation/
- Bodrova, E., & Leong, D. J. (2008). Developing self-regulation in kindergarten. Young Children, 63(2), 56-58. https://www.naeyc.org/files/yc/file/200803/BTJ_Primary_Interest.pdf
- Bandura, A. (1961). Bobo doll experiment. Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, 63, 575-582.
- Belton, T. (2018, March 21). Why boredom can be good for you. The Conversation. https://theconversation.com/why-boredom-can-be-good-for-you-90429
- Bronfenbrenner, U. (1979). The ecology of human development: Experiments by nature and design. Harvard University Press.
- Evangelou, D. (1989). Mixed-age groups in early childhood education. ERIC Digest.
- Maslow, A. H. (1943). A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review, 50(4), 370–396.
- O’Connor, A. (2018). Understanding transitions in the early years: Supporting change through attachment and resilience. Routledge.
- Page, J. (2018). Characterising the principles of Professional Love in early childhood care and education. International Journal of Early Years Education, 26(2), 125-141.
- Seyfarth, R. M., & Cheney, D. L. (2013). Affiliation, empathy, and the origins of theory of mind. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 110(Supplement 2), 10349-10356.
- Winsler, A., Willson-Quayle, A., Caverly, S., & Latorre, M. (2002). The social and behavioral ecology of mixed-age and same-age preschool classrooms: A natural experiment. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 23(3), 305-330.
Recommended Books
- Asquith, S. (2020). Self-Regulation Skills in Young Children: Activities and Strategies for Practitioners and Parents. Jessica Kingsley Publishers. https://www.jkp.com/uk/self-regulation-skills-in-young-children-2.html
- This practical guide offers a range of activities and strategies to help early years practitioners and parents support children’s self-regulation skills development.
- Bodrova, E., & Leong, D. J. (2007). Tools of the Mind: The Vygotskian Approach to Early Childhood Education. Pearson.
- This book provides a comprehensive overview of the Vygotskian approach to early childhood education, with a strong focus on developing self-regulation skills.
- Shanker, S. (2016). Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life. Penguin Books.
- Dr. Shanker’s book offers practical strategies for understanding and supporting self-regulation in children, based on the latest neuroscience research.
- Galinsky, E. (2010). Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs. HarperCollins.
- This book explores seven essential skills, including focus and self-control, that children need to succeed in life and how to foster them.
- Williams, M. S., & Shellenberger, S. (1996). “How Does Your Engine Run?”: A Leader’s Guide to the Alert Program for Self-Regulation. TherapyWorks, Inc.
- This practical guide introduces the Alert Program, which uses an engine analogy to help children understand and regulate their energy levels.
Recommended Websites
- The MEHRIT Centre: https://self-reg.ca/
- Founded by Dr. Stuart Shanker, this website offers a wealth of resources on self-regulation, including articles, webinars, and online courses.
- Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University: https://developingchild.harvard.edu/
- This site provides evidence-based information on child development, including resources on executive function and self-regulation.
- Early Childhood Learning & Knowledge Center (ECLKC): https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/
- The ECLKC offers a range of resources on supporting self-regulation in early childhood settings, including practical strategies and professional development materials.
- The Zones of Regulation: https://www.zonesofregulation.com/
- This website introduces the Zones of Regulation curriculum, which aims to help children gain skills in consciously regulating their actions.
- National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC): https://www.naeyc.org/
- NAEYC’s website offers numerous articles and resources on supporting self-regulation in early childhood settings.
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Kathy Brodie
Kathy Brodie is an Early Years Professional, Trainer and Author of multiple books on Early Years Education and Child Development. She is the founder of Early Years TV and the Early Years Summit.
