Ultimate Relationship Psychology Glossary: Essential Terms

Understanding the language of relationship psychology can transform how you navigate love, communication, and connection. Whether you’re exploring attachment theory, discovering your love language, or working to build healthier boundaries, having clear definitions of key psychological terms empowers you to make sense of relationship patterns and create meaningful change.

This comprehensive glossary brings together essential relationship psychology terms, from foundational concepts like secure attachment and the Four Horsemen to modern phenomena like ghosting and love bombing. Each definition is grounded in psychological research while remaining accessible to anyone seeking to understand relationship dynamics better.

How to Use This Glossary

Quick Reference: Use Ctrl+F (or Cmd+F on Mac) to search for specific terms you encounter in articles, therapy, or conversations about relationships.

Deep Learning: Start with foundational concepts marked with ⭐ if you’re new to relationship psychology. These core terms will help you understand more complex concepts.

Relationship Growth: Focus on terms related to your current relationship challenges. If you’re working on communication, explore terms like “Four Horsemen,” “repair attempts,” and “gentle start-up.”

Internal Links: Throughout the glossary, you’ll find links to related articles that explore specific concepts in greater depth.

Cross-References: Each definition includes “Related terms” to help you understand how different psychological concepts connect.

A-Z Relationship Psychology Terms

Term	Definition	Related Terms
Acts of Service ⭐	One of Gary Chapman’s five love languages where individuals express and receive love through helpful actions like cooking meals, running errands, or completing tasks for their partner. This love language demonstrates care through practical support rather than words or physical affection.	Love Languages, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time
Adult Attachment Interview (AAI)	A research tool developed by George, Kaplan, and Main to assess adult attachment patterns through semi-structured interviews about childhood relationships and their impact on current functioning.	Internal Working Models, Attachment Styles, Secure Attachment
Aesthetic Intimacy	A form of connection where partners bond over shared appreciation of beauty, art, music, or meaningful experiences. This type of intimacy develops when couples enjoy similar aesthetic pleasures together.	Emotional Intimacy, Intellectual Intimacy, Spiritual Intimacy
Anxious Attachment ⭐	An insecure attachment style characterized by fear of abandonment, need for constant reassurance, and heightened emotional responses in relationships. Individuals with this style often seek excessive closeness while fearing rejection. [Attachment Styles in Adult Relationships]	Secure Attachment, Avoidant Attachment, Internal Working Models
Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment	Adult attachment pattern involving low self-esteem but positive views of others. These individuals desperately seek intimacy and approval while simultaneously fearing rejection, often leading to clingy or demanding relationship behaviors.	Anxious Attachment, Preoccupied Attachment, Attachment Behaviors
Attachment Behaviors ⭐	Actions that promote proximity to attachment figures, including crying, clinging, following, seeking comfort, and protesting separation. These evolved behaviors help maintain closeness to caregivers for safety and emotional regulation. [John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory]	Proximity Seeking, Secure Base, Safe Haven
Avoidant Attachment ⭐	An insecure attachment style characterized by discomfort with intimacy, emotional distance, and strong preference for independence. These individuals often suppress emotional needs and struggle with close relationships. [Attachment Styles in Adult Relationships]	Anxious Attachment, Secure Attachment, Dismissive-Avoidant
Benching	Modern dating term describing the practice of keeping someone as a backup romantic option while pursuing other relationships. The person being “benched” receives just enough attention to maintain their interest.	Breadcrumbing, Future Faking, Ghosting
Boundaries ⭐	Personal limits that individuals set to protect their well-being, values, and sense of self within relationships. Healthy boundaries allow for both connection and individual autonomy without compromising personal integrity.	Codependency, Enmeshment, Differentiation
Breadcrumbing	A manipulative dating behavior where someone sends minimal, sporadic signals of romantic interest to keep another person engaged without any intention of developing a real relationship.	Benching, Love Bombing, Future Faking
Bromance	A close, emotionally intimate platonic friendship between men that involves deep affection and support without romantic or sexual involvement. The term combines “brother” and “romance.”	Platonic Relationship, Womance, Emotional Intimacy
Casual Relationship	A non-exclusive, non-committed partnership characterized by flexibility, lack of formal obligations, and often a focus on companionship or physical intimacy without long-term planning or exclusivity expectations.	Platonic Relationship, Social Exchange Theory, Boundaries
Classical Conditioning	Learning process relevant to attachment formation where infants associate caregivers with comfort and pleasure, eventually forming emotional bonds through repeated positive associations.	Learning Theory of Attachment, Operant Conditioning, Internal Working Models
Codependency ⭐	A dysfunctional relationship pattern involving excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, often characterized by sacrificing one’s own needs and identity to maintain the relationship.	Enmeshment, Boundaries, Interdependency
Contempt ⭐	One of Gottman’s Four Horsemen, involving treating your partner with disrespect through sarcasm, eye-rolling, name-calling, or mockery. Contempt is the strongest predictor of relationship breakdown.	Four Horsemen, Criticism, Defensiveness, Stonewalling
Continuity Hypothesis	The concept that early attachment experiences create consistent patterns in later relationships, with childhood attachment styles typically reflected in adult romantic relationships.	Internal Working Models, Attachment Styles, Secure Base
Criticism ⭐	One of Gottman’s Four Horsemen, involving attacking your partner’s character or personality rather than addressing specific behaviors or issues. Criticism differs from complaints by targeting the person rather than actions.	Four Horsemen, Contempt, Gentle Start-up, Repair Attempts
Defensiveness ⭐	One of Gottman’s Four Horsemen, involving protecting oneself from perceived attacks by counterattacking, making excuses, or playing the victim rather than taking responsibility for one’s actions.	Four Horsemen, Stonewalling, Repair Attempts, Emotional Regulation
Differentiation	The ability to maintain one’s sense of self, values, and emotional autonomy while remaining emotionally connected to others. Well-differentiated individuals can be intimate without losing their identity.	Boundaries, Enmeshment, Emotional Regulation, Interdependency
Disorganized Attachment ⭐	An insecure attachment pattern characterized by inconsistent, contradictory behaviors toward caregivers, often resulting from frightening or unpredictable caregiving experiences.	Anxious Attachment, Avoidant Attachment, Fearful-Avoidant Attachment
Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment	An adult attachment style characterized by strong self-sufficiency, discomfort with intimacy, and tendency to appear emotionally detached. These individuals often deny the importance of close relationships.	Avoidant Attachment, Secure Attachment, Emotional Intimacy
Emotional Intimacy ⭐	The ability to share one’s deepest feelings, thoughts, fears, and vulnerabilities with another person while feeling safe, understood, and accepted. This form of closeness involves mutual emotional support and empathy.	Physical Intimacy, Intellectual Intimacy, Spiritual Intimacy
Emotional Regulation	The ability to manage, process, and respond to emotional experiences in healthy and appropriate ways. This skill is crucial for maintaining stable relationships and secure attachment.	Attachment Behaviors, Differentiation, Secure Attachment
Enmeshment ⭐	A relationship dynamic where boundaries between individuals become blurred or non-existent, leading to loss of personal identity and excessive emotional involvement in each other’s lives.	Codependency, Boundaries, Differentiation
Experiential Intimacy	Connection formed through shared activities, adventures, and experiences that create mutual memories and deepen bonds between partners or friends.	Emotional Intimacy, Quality Time, Aesthetic Intimacy
Fearful-Avoidant Attachment	An insecure attachment style characterized by simultaneously wanting close relationships while fearing intimacy and potential hurt. These individuals experience internal conflict between approach and avoidance.	Disorganized Attachment, Anxious Attachment, Avoidant Attachment
Four Horsemen ⭐	John Gottman’s four destructive communication patterns that predict relationship failure: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. These behaviors are highly toxic to relationship health.	Contempt, Criticism, Defensiveness, Stonewalling
Future Faking	A manipulative tactic where someone makes elaborate promises about future plans, commitment, or shared experiences with no intention of following through, used to maintain control over a partner.	Love Bombing, Breadcrumbing, Gaslighting
Gaslighting ⭐	A form of psychological manipulation where one person causes another to question their own reality, memory, or perceptions through persistent denial, contradiction, and misinformation.	Future Faking, Love Bombing, Emotional Regulation
Gentle Start-up	Gottman’s antidote to criticism, involving beginning difficult conversations calmly and constructively by expressing feelings and needs without attacking your partner’s character.	Criticism, Repair Attempts, Four Horsemen
Ghosting ⭐	The practice of suddenly cutting off all communication with someone without explanation or warning, typically in dating or friendship contexts. This behavior leaves the other person confused and hurt.	Breadcrumbing, Benching, Boundaries
Goal-Corrected Partnership	A developmental phase in attachment theory where children begin to understand their caregiver’s feelings and motives, allowing for more sophisticated negotiation and reciprocal relationships.	Attachment Behaviors, Internal Working Models, Secure Base
Hoovering	A manipulation tactic where someone re-engages contact with an ex-partner through intermittent communication designed to “suck” them back into the relationship, often after periods of no contact.	Love Bombing, Future Faking, Triangulation
Hyperactivation	An attachment strategy involving intensification of proximity-seeking behaviors and emotional expression, typically seen in anxious attachment styles when normal signals don’t receive adequate response.	Anxious Attachment, Attachment Behaviors, Emotional Regulation
Intellectual Intimacy ⭐	Connection formed through sharing ideas, beliefs, opinions, and engaging in stimulating conversations that challenge and inspire both partners. This involves mutual respect for each other’s thoughts and perspectives.	Emotional Intimacy, Spiritual Intimacy, Quality Time
Interdependency	A healthy relationship dynamic where individuals maintain their autonomy and independence while also being able to rely on each other for support, creating balanced give-and-take.	Codependency, Boundaries, Differentiation
Internal Working Models ⭐	Mental representations of self and others formed through early attachment experiences that guide expectations, perceptions, and behaviors in future relationships throughout life. [John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory]	Attachment Behaviors, Secure Base, Continuity Hypothesis
Learning Theory of Attachment	A behaviorist explanation of attachment formation suggesting that bonds develop through classical and operant conditioning rather than innate biological drives.	Classical Conditioning, Operant Conditioning, Attachment Behaviors
Love Bombing ⭐	An overwhelming display of affection, attention, and adoration early in a relationship designed to gain control over another person. This manipulative tactic creates emotional dependency.	Future Faking, Gaslighting, Hoovering
Love Languages ⭐	Gary Chapman’s framework identifying five primary ways people express and receive love: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. [The 5 Love Languages]	Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts
Minimax Principle	A concept from social exchange theory suggesting that people try to maximize rewards while minimizing costs in their relationships, approaching relationships with a cost-benefit mindset.	Social Exchange Theory, Boundaries, Interdependency
Monotropy	John Bowlby’s concept that infants have an innate tendency to form one primary attachment bond that is qualitatively different and more important than other relationships.	Attachment Behaviors, Secure Base, Internal Working Models
Operant Conditioning	Learning through consequences where behaviors are reinforced or discouraged based on their outcomes, relevant to understanding how relationship patterns develop and persist.	Classical Conditioning, Learning Theory of Attachment, Emotional Regulation
Orbiting	Modern dating behavior where someone maintains minimal social media interaction (likes, views) with an ex-partner while avoiding direct communication, staying in their “orbit.”	Ghosting, Breadcrumbing, Hoovering
Phubbing	The act of ignoring someone in favor of a mobile phone or digital device, creating emotional distance and damaging relationship connection through technology interference.	Boundaries, Quality Time, Emotional Intimacy
Physical Intimacy ⭐	Closeness expressed through appropriate physical touch including hugging, kissing, cuddling, holding hands, and sexual contact. This form of intimacy involves both sexual and non-sexual touch.	Emotional Intimacy, Physical Touch, Boundaries
Physical Touch ⭐	One of Gary Chapman’s five love languages where individuals express and receive love through appropriate physical contact such as hugs, hand-holding, kisses, and affectionate touches.	Love Languages, Physical Intimacy, Quality Time
Platonic Relationship	A close friendship characterized by deep emotional intimacy and affection without romantic or sexual involvement. Named after philosopher Plato’s concept of non-physical love.	Bromance, Womance, Emotional Intimacy
Preoccupied Attachment	Adult attachment style characterized by high anxiety about relationships, intense need for closeness, and preoccupation with partner’s availability and responsiveness.	Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment, Anxious Attachment, Hyperactivation
Proximity Seeking	A fundamental attachment behavior involving efforts to maintain physical or emotional closeness to attachment figures, especially during times of stress or uncertainty.	Attachment Behaviors, Secure Base, Safe Haven
Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic	A common relationship pattern where one partner seeks greater closeness and connection while the other partner withdraws or creates emotional distance, often creating a cycle of conflict.	Anxious Attachment, Avoidant Attachment, Emotional Regulation
Quality Time ⭐	One of Gary Chapman’s five love languages involving giving someone your focused, undivided attention through meaningful conversations, shared activities, or simply being present together. [Love Languages Applications]	Love Languages, Experiential Intimacy, Emotional Intimacy
Receiving Gifts ⭐	One of Gary Chapman’s five love languages where individuals express and receive love through thoughtful presents that demonstrate care, consideration, and remembrance of the other person.	Love Languages, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation
Repair Attempts	Efforts made during conflict to de-escalate tension, restore connection, and prevent relationship damage. These can include humor, affection, taking breaks, or acknowledging mistakes.	Four Horsemen, Gentle Start-up, Emotional Regulation
Safe Haven ⭐	A concept from attachment theory describing the caregiver’s role as a source of comfort and protection during times of distress, providing emotional regulation and security. [John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory]	Secure Base, Attachment Behaviors, Proximity Seeking
Secure Attachment ⭐	The healthiest attachment style characterized by comfort with intimacy, effective emotional regulation, positive self-image, and trust in others’ availability and responsiveness. [Attachment Styles in Adult Relationships]	Anxious Attachment, Avoidant Attachment, Internal Working Models
Secure Base ⭐	An attachment theory concept describing the caregiver as a stable foundation from which a child (or adult) can safely explore the world, knowing they can return for comfort when needed. [John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory]	Safe Haven, Attachment Behaviors, Proximity Seeking
Separation Anxiety	Distress experienced when separated from attachment figures, particularly common in children but also occurring in adults with insecure attachment styles during relationship disruptions.	Attachment Behaviors, Anxious Attachment, Proximity Seeking
Social Exchange Theory	A psychological theory proposing that people evaluate relationships based on costs and benefits, staying in relationships that provide adequate rewards relative to their investments.	Minimax Principle, Boundaries, Interdependency
Social Penetration Theory	A theory describing how relationships develop through gradual, mutual self-disclosure, moving from superficial to increasingly intimate levels of communication over time.	Emotional Intimacy, Self-Disclosure, Boundaries
Spiritual Intimacy ⭐	Connection formed through sharing beliefs, values, life purpose, and experiences related to meaning and transcendence. This can include religious practices or shared philosophical perspectives.	Emotional Intimacy, Intellectual Intimacy, Aesthetic Intimacy
Stonewalling ⭐	One of Gottman’s Four Horsemen, involving withdrawal from interaction during conflict by shutting down, giving silent treatment, or physically leaving to avoid engagement.	Four Horsemen, Defensiveness, Emotional Regulation
Strange Situation	Mary Ainsworth’s research procedure for assessing infant attachment styles by observing children’s responses to separation from and reunion with their caregivers in an unfamiliar environment.	Attachment Behaviors, Secure Attachment, Internal Working Models
Triangulation	A dysfunctional communication pattern where one person avoids direct interaction with another by involving a third party as an intermediary, often creating confusion and conflict.	Boundaries, Emotional Regulation, Differentiation
Triangular Theory of Love	Robert Sternberg’s model proposing that love consists of three components: intimacy (emotional closeness), passion (physical attraction), and commitment (decision to maintain the relationship).	Emotional Intimacy, Physical Intimacy, Commitment
Validation	The act of acknowledging and accepting another person’s feelings, thoughts, or experiences as legitimate and understandable, even if you don’t agree with them.	Emotional Regulation, Empathy, Emotional Intimacy
Womance	A close, emotionally intimate platonic friendship between women that involves deep affection, support, and connection without romantic or sexual involvement.	Bromance, Platonic Relationship, Emotional Intimacy
Empathy	The ability to understand and share another person’s feelings, putting yourself in their emotional position. Empathy is crucial for emotional intimacy and healthy relationship functioning.	Emotional Intimacy, Validation, Emotional Regulation
Monogamy	A relationship structure involving exclusive romantic and/or sexual commitment between two people. Monogamy is the most common relationship model in Western cultures.	Polyamory, Boundaries, Commitment
Polyamory	A relationship structure involving multiple consensual, ethical romantic relationships simultaneously, with the knowledge and consent of all partners involved.	Monogamy, Boundaries, Social Exchange Theory
Reciprocity	The mutual exchange of actions, emotions, or resources in relationships where both partners contribute fairly to the relationship’s maintenance and growth.	Social Exchange Theory, Interdependency, Boundaries
Vulnerability ⭐	The willingness to expose one’s authentic self, including fears, insecurities, and emotions, despite the risk of rejection or hurt. Vulnerability is essential for deep intimacy.	Emotional Intimacy, Secure Attachment, Boundaries